I love going to church. I love going to church when I leave feeling refreshed, humbled, uplifted and excited for I can do through Christ. I've been to churches that made me feel so guilty that I can't even hold my head up or feel confident I'm going to heaven when the Lord sees fit. I don't like church like that, but to each their own. I love to worship and praise and learn and rejoice and be humbled by His grace and love. So Adam and I are getting ready to join a church in Columbia after years of going to worship in Camden. We've been searching in Columbia for a long time and never found what we had in Camden. I don't fully believe we have, but we are tired of not belonging somewhere.
So anyway, what I don't feel good about is letting my everyday, sinful life clog up my mind while I'm in church. My mind starts furiously going over my to do lists right in the middle of a great message and it messes things up. I've been taking notes and listening and learning when I notice a smudge on my dress and I end up spending the next 5 minutes trying to figure out what it is and why it's not coming off with the ol' spit and rub trick. Why can't I FOCUS sometimes?! The devil? Is that mean ol' snake making my mind wonder so that I can be fulfilled by His word? EERRRRRRR he makes me so mad sometimes. This very thing happened to me in church this past Sunday. Adam was in class so it was just Ella and me. Ella was wisked off to the nursery so I sat alone ready to learn. As the pastor really started to get into the meat of his sermon, I spotted the little buzzer thing next to me buried under my pocketbook. My mind started in on "What if it had gone off under there and I would have never known?" and "What kind of thing would have to happen before they would buzz me?" My mind went on some stupid path of worry from there and before I knew, the pastor was concluding. What?! What did he say? My notes didn't make sense. Instead of feeling great about the service, I was left with confusion and frustration with myself. Why did I do that?!
I love church. I love going to church when I leave feeling refreshed, humbled, uplifted and excited for I can do through Christ. So, I'm planning on focusing at church and leaving the devil out in the cold... along with my to do lists and what ifs. Pray for me. My mind is stubborn.
1.11.2011
1.05.2011
Humor
It's official that Adam and I have passed our sense of humor down to our little girl. I'm so proud! We did pray very hard when she was still "cooking" that she would have a sense of humor. One of the first things the drew me to Adam (other than how good looking he was) was his sense of humor. He made me laugh and I was sold. Previous to Adam, I had been in what I'd call a really bad relationship full of anger, fighting and sadness. Adam made things bright and happy again. I was actually laughing again and I never wanted that to end.
So here we are, over 11 years later, and we have this beautiful little toddler that laughs at everything. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! When my day has been stressful and all I want to do is make the day end, Ella will laugh at a carrot flying off her tray or a cat meowing or something and belly laugh which makes me laugh so hard that I have a stitch in my side. I can not tell you how proud I am of Ella. She is smart, polite (mostly), energetic, creative and loves to laugh. Today, we are home from school and work because Ella has walking pneumonia. I've been a mess trying to figure out what I can do to make her feel better. It's scary for me because all I want to do is make sure she's breathing. We had a rough night with Ella coughing, crying and fighting fever and today she's smiling. While I was changing her diaper this afternoon, she started to wheeze. I stopped what I was doing to listen to it because I was worried. Ella heard it and started to laugh. She'd get quiet, wheeze again and start cracking up! I got tickled, too. My worrying didn't go away completely, but it made it so much better listening to her cast her wheezing off as comedic. I should look at things in life more like she does.
So yes, being a parent is stressful. It's hard and it's a challenge. Being a parent is also a blessing that teaches us lessons. If it weren't for Ella, I'd have a lot less laughter in my life. God is good. He knows what He's doing up there and I'm certainly not deserving of it.... but I'll take it.
So here we are, over 11 years later, and we have this beautiful little toddler that laughs at everything. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! When my day has been stressful and all I want to do is make the day end, Ella will laugh at a carrot flying off her tray or a cat meowing or something and belly laugh which makes me laugh so hard that I have a stitch in my side. I can not tell you how proud I am of Ella. She is smart, polite (mostly), energetic, creative and loves to laugh. Today, we are home from school and work because Ella has walking pneumonia. I've been a mess trying to figure out what I can do to make her feel better. It's scary for me because all I want to do is make sure she's breathing. We had a rough night with Ella coughing, crying and fighting fever and today she's smiling. While I was changing her diaper this afternoon, she started to wheeze. I stopped what I was doing to listen to it because I was worried. Ella heard it and started to laugh. She'd get quiet, wheeze again and start cracking up! I got tickled, too. My worrying didn't go away completely, but it made it so much better listening to her cast her wheezing off as comedic. I should look at things in life more like she does.
So yes, being a parent is stressful. It's hard and it's a challenge. Being a parent is also a blessing that teaches us lessons. If it weren't for Ella, I'd have a lot less laughter in my life. God is good. He knows what He's doing up there and I'm certainly not deserving of it.... but I'll take it.
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