Through Him

Struggles suck. Let's be honest. Just as we figure out how to solve one and start to feel really good about things, another one slaps you square in the face and puts frustration back on you.

There will always be some thing or someone that tests your faith. It's easy to hate that person or thing. It's easy to be mad and angry and walk around like a victim all time. There's very little effort to do these things. It's not Godly.

Praying. Scripture. These two things help make us the faithful christians God wants us to be. We aren't perfect. We are sinful and somehow still expect Christ to swoop in and save the day. We are undeserving of what Christ has done for us and what He continues to do for us.

I've found a new way to listen to Christ these days instead of doing all the talking myself. I feel His love and His comfort when I need it most (and when it's small). It's a challenge sometimes when my emotions tell me to hate someone or to be angry at an event in my life. Those emotions are Satan and it scares me to know how loud he can be. I've learned that forgiveness is hard. It's necessary, but hard and even feels impossible at times.

I've recently been dealing with an extra amount of stress and anxiety. Worrying about other people, how unthoughtful and disrespectful they may be. Worrying about my family and if they are healthy and safe. You name it, I'm worrying about it. I want to hate the things that make me worry. I want to lash out and never forgive any hurt put on me or those I care about, but I know, as a christian woman, I can not. Forgiving is hard. However, I've been praying and actually LISTENING these days and God does indeed hear me. This large, heavy burden sitting on my chest is lifting. Not by me. Not by medication. By God. By only God. I am grateful. Forgiving is still hard, but I'm working on it. Forgetting is even harder. Some people are careless and maybe don't realize how stupid decisions or words effect those around them. Accepting there are times my child just won't eat and will forever be petite is hard. Knowing that worrying is a part of my life and it doesn't show my faith is hard. Knowing Ella sees it and I don't want her to. Accepting that life is not easy, never was promised to be and will always have ups and downs is not easy. With Christ, I will survive it and I will with love in my heart. I will with forgiveness and patience. I'm working on it.

God does work miracles. God does listen. God will help in His time. God is good.