Read a story today

I read a story today about a woman in Lexington who lost her son 34 minutes after he was born. She was told at 5 months that he wouldn't survive outside the womb, but in the womb was perfectly healthy. He had some fatal condition that wouldn't allow his chest to expand enough to take a breath. He survived 34 minutes. The woman said something that made me tear up and feel a warmth about her situation. She said that she enjoyed her time as his mommy, but he wasn't hers to keep. He belonged in God's hands. That was a fantastic way to look at a horrible situation. Knowing this didn't make her less sad or grieve for a shorter period of time. She just found some comfort in knowing that she'd carried her son for the Lord. When asked if she had any advice for other grieving mothers, she responded, "God makes no mistakes. He has a purpose, and a desire for even the smallest or shortest life. I cannot offer advice to grieving mothers, because I am still unsure of my own feelings. The pain and sorrow is indescribable. If it weren't for my husband, my mother and my God, I would be broken. Because of them, I will heal. I am unsure whether or not I will ever feel whole again. But I am a mother, a wife and a daughter. It is still my job to be strong." She also says "Grief is a personal journey and no one has the right to judge a mother's grief. I choose Bailey's life [her healthy daughter] instead of Benjamin's death." Wow.

There was one part of this story that really got to me. Her son was born on the same day Ella was due. He was delivered almost the same time Ella was born. He was born in the same hospital Ella had been born in. Now Ella was not born on the same day because I had an emergency c-section due to preeclampsia symptoms. I don't know that if I hadn't had the c-section when I did that she would have come on the same day this family lost their little boy, but the thought sent chills up my spine. What if we HAD been there at the same time. We rejoiced when Ella was born. Friends and family came to hold her and congratulate us. We would have just been a few rooms away from a family grieving the loss of their baby. How horrible. Greg and Heather were grieving Maelee while other families celebrated just a few rooms away. *sigh* I just don't want anyone to feel that kind of pain. I get sad for them a lot. I count my blessings every time I hug Ella (and wake her up in the morning, feed her, bathe her, play with her, tickle her.....) Hate is an ugly word. I know it is because my MeMe told me so when I was just a kid. I'm supposed to dislike things and not hate them, but I hate what Greg and Heather are going through. I don't know if sharing the story of the Lexington couple with Greg and Heather would help or make them more sad, but I'll ask what they think. Sometimes realizing there are others grieving the same way you are can give a little comfort. Keep praying for them.