What's on my mind

SCARS

I thought about this after noticing a scare on my arm that has almost faded away after 11 years. I was happy it was starting to go away. I hate it. Scars were initially wounds. Most are visible and look pretty bad. People go out of their way to say "What happened? Are you ok?" These wounds heal eventually, but leave a scar. A scar is a reminder of what happened. Scars will stop hurting as much one day, but it never really goes away. Somedays you won't remember it's there and the event that caused the scar doesn't cross your mind. Somedays you stare at the scar and play out the event that caused it over and over in your head. The feelings you had when you got that injury can come back as if it just happened. Some people won't ask you about your scar because they are scared of what you might say. I'm mean let's face it. It had to be pretty nasty to leave a mark, right? What if something horrible happened and now you've just opened up all those emotions again. It's better to pretend you didn't see it. There are those who WANT to talk about their scar. They will offer up the story without being asked or wait to see the look on your face when your eyes glance in it's direction. There are also those who would rather you ignore the scar, too. Everyone deals with the scars differently. Scars are reminders of what you've been through, but at the end of the day, they are what makes you you. They build character and always leave you with a story to share with others... if you're up to it. Greg and Heather have a wound on their hearts and one day they will have scars. It's a place that toughens up, but never goes away. That scar is Maelee's passing.

GETTING TO KNOW OTHERS

This has nothing to do with Greg and Heather's situation. It's just something I've dealt with recently. Everyday we meet people. Somedays we meet people we really want to get to know more. Those people can become friends. I love asking people about their life outside of what you already know. What music or food or stores they like. What they wish they could do if they had no limitations. It's fun to learn this stuff. What is disappointing is to learn that person you call a friend doesn't share an interest with you that you find important. Examples of this may be politics or religion or sports team views. There are somethings you can learn to deal with and some that you can't. For me, it's religion. I have a hard time understanding folks who don't believe. They claim to be spiritual but not religious. That saying drives me nuts. It means nothing. It's careless, lazy and messy. I almost can't relate to someone who doesn't believe the way I do. Most of the time, these unbelievers want to debate you on your beliefs. They want to mock you for being so gullible. I don't know that I have patience for this person. It's disappointing to learn this about a friend. I hope I don't learn that about you.

BIG GIRL SEAT

I had a new car seat installed in my car today for Ella. It's not a carrier and it can hold up to 50lbs. This is Ella's big girl seat. It's happening too fast.

GUTTERS

We had new gutters installed on the front of our house today because our others were falling off. I'm not sure we can actually afford this.

OLD DAYS

When I was younger, I didn't have so much stress. I wondered which tree would be best to climb and which cereal goes best with Smurfs on Saturday morning. I miss simpler times most when my stress is the highest. I had no idea about martial affairs of those you know and that sometimes you can't pay the bills because you've run out of money. I didn't know that there were family members that really don't like each other all the much. Things were good. Friends were good. Times were good. Stress wasn't there. My fear is that Ella won't be able to have "good times" in her childhood. There is too much too visible to kids these days. Too much technology. Too much "information." Too much sex and violence. I want "the old days" for her to remember when she's my age.

LIKE

This is a word that is used too much and used incorrectly.

HAIR

I'm not having a good hair day today. I want to go home and put it in a pony tail.

NAILS

Why did I paint them this color? I'm not a fan of this color.

ANNIVERSARY

Adam and I are going to celebrate 4 years of marriage on Thursday the 20th. We've been together for 10 1/2 years and love each other more today than the last. We have no plans yet. Thursday he has to coach in the evening which means he won't get home until 9:30 or 10. Bummer.

WORK

It doesn't make me happy anymore. It's too stressful.

BIBLE

I haven't had time to read it like I want to. I really want to. I'm coming up with a plan to make this happen the way I want it to. It's important.

EMAIL

I'm annoyed by emails that don't concern me. I always forget to delete them and they pile up in my inbox. I can't find any email I actually need when I need to.

BORED

Is it possible to be bored when you actually have things to do? My experience today answers "Yes" to this question. I think I'd rather sharpen all my pencils than do what I'm supposed to be doing right now.