I've been a one busy woman these days. Having an almost 2 1/2 year old keeps me on my toes. Work is busy and it is get sick season. Every little second I get to rest, I usually do it in my comfy pants on the couch next to my hubby (usually about 10 minutes before we fall asleep). On nights when Adam isn't home, I play on my iPhone or the iPad to see what the rest of the world is up to. Social Media. It has brought an entire world together under one little internet button on my computer. Good crap.
When I was growing up (you know, the days before cell phones and when bag phones were considered fancy?) we were always with friends; hanging out with friends, on the phone with our friends, writing letters to our friends. Our friends were usually someone from our math class, our church group, a neighbor... point being, it was usually someone you could relate to. Friends would move away in middle school and after a couple of months of letter writing, they seemed to vanish into thin air. Those friends become a passing thought many years later. "I wonder whatever happened to ______." That's about as far as that went. Occasionally your mom would call you and say she ran into that old friend's aunt in the grocery store and found out she's now married with 2 kids. Whatever. But I digress.
My REAL point is, before all this freakin' technology butted in, we hung out with people we could relate to; people we shared our values and morals with; people who liked the same things you did. Our actual (not virtual) FRIENDS. It was awesome. Now, with all this social media flying around, we have access to people who not only haven't been around in years, but are also not really a person you would normally find yourself around if they WERE around. What I mean is, status updates force you to see what all these people are doing and posting, even if it doesn't jive with your values. It's hard to see these things sometimes without scratching and clawing at a few nerves.
I have friends that I follow on Facebook, Twitter... whatever else site there is.... that I remember from school well over 20 years ago. Were we friends then? No. We were friendLY, but never actually hung out. It's cool how these sites can connect people like that. The down side for me, is that there was usually a reason I didn't hang with some of these people. They didn't share my beliefs or morals or heck, even my love for diet coke. Whatever it was, we didn't jive as well as others. That's normal. Now, I see there rants about their spouses, the hatred for God, the foul language just to describe a sandwich, pictures of inappropriate crap.... I see it. We all do. Sure, these posts usually have 42 "Likes" by them and that's great. But I have been shocked a few times and there's not much that offend me these days.
I am not saying I judge anyone. I am FAR from perfect. I have done some questionable things in my lifetime that I'm not proud of. I have no authority to judge anyone. I could be judged just as easy as any one person in this world. I'm not saying YOU SHOULD BE GODLY PEOPLE AND CHANGE YOUR WAYS! Well, it would be nice if we would all do that, but we are humans that do wrong junk all the time. I just didn't think that people I thought I knew from a long time ago felt so differently about things than I did. I didn't know that as people grew up and began making their own decisions, that they'd choose something so different from the way they grew up. I guess I just didn't realize that what seemed important to everyone when we were youngens living with our parents wouldn't still be important as we grew up and raised our own families.
Social media is good in that we get to reconnect to old friends that once moved somewhere else or went off to school and never moved back. I love that. I love looking at what these friends are doing now. I'm grateful to technology in that aspect. Truly. I just don't think I'll get used to seeing some of the crap people post. We are a free nation. We have freedom of speech, but come on people... where have our social skills gone? Remember when we wouldn't say we didn't like something when a friend had that said thing just to spare their feelings? Where did that go? Why is drama and controversy so loved now? Let's be edgy and say we hate something everyone else loves just to be different. WHY OH WHY?!
I think I have vented enough. I haven't been on here in a while and I'm sorry my first post back is a negative one. I will step off my soap box now, find some funny stuff to laugh at and move on.
Chive on people.
10.19.2011
5.01.2011
Prayers still needed
Please keep praying for Eli and his parents.
http://gretherfamily.blogspot.com/2011/04/jaundice.html
http://gretherfamily.blogspot.com/2011/04/jaundice.html
4.27.2011
PRAY PRAY PRAY
Just a quick note to let you all know that Heather was induced this morning and baby Eli is on his way! This is a critical time so your prayers are needed ASAP! If you would, set aside some quiet time and ask God to watch over them and protect them. This family has been an incredible journey and really wants to hold this little boy in their arms as a living, thriving little man. PRAY PRAY PRAY as hard as you can! Feel free to keep up with their blog as well. I will also keep you updated. Here is Greg and Heather a few weeks ago on the anniversary of their daughter Maelee's day of birth.
4.18.2011
Facebook Can Drive Me Nuts
Almost a full 40 days completed without posting on facebook. It has felt good. It was a distraction before Lent and I really think I can keep my facebook time to a minimum now. Only being able to read facebook and not post has brought a few things to light for me about this social media.
1. Reading what people ate for dinner every night is super annoying. That is information I'm not sure why people share. I understand being excited about a special night out or something, but what you cooked or ate EVERY night?? We really share waaaay too much information with people on our status updates. Pictures of your food does not make it more awesome.
2. I do not want to know what color you saw when you blew your nose this morning even if this is the worst cold you have ever had. Gross.
3. I do not want to buy your crap over facebook. Stop posting your junk on facebook for me to buy. I'll go to the store or find it cheaper on Amazon.
4. Do we really need to know how often you drink alcohol? Let's be honest, it makes you look like you are a 20 year old desperate to be 21 so you can be "cool". It's not impressive and makes you seem very irresponsible. I get it. Most of us enjoy a good beer or glass a wine to unwind from time to time, but going through 4 bottles of wine or putting a way a keg of beer over a weekend is not cool. At all. Either stop lying about how important booze is to you or join AA.
5. It's awkward to know you are mad at your spouse or significant other.
6. I can't imagine many people care that you just checked in at McAllister's for lunch. Foursquare needs to stop.
7. Do people even look at the pictures they post these days? That drunk night out should be kept to yourself. Not attractive and there's always someone from your place of employment looking at it.
8. I'm excited for your good mood, but saying "Good Morning" or "Good Night Facebook" every day....
9. Updating your status every 30 minutes is really not necessary. Seriously.
10. Working out is great. It's healthy. Congrats on being healthy. Stop posting your workout plan on facebook every time you hit the gym.
Lastly,
11. Stop using profanity on facebook. You are not cooler for it. You look like a D-bag.
Lastly,
11. Stop using profanity on facebook. You are not cooler for it. You look like a D-bag.
That is all.
4.14.2011
Fun Apps On My Phone
I used my silent movie app on my iPhone to create this video from an older video I took of Ella. This is hilarious! I love this girl!
On the 10th day
UPDATE
That's right people... I have been without my favorite beverage for 36 days. I haven't been off diet coke for more than 3 days in a row in over 20 years and I'll tell you it's been hard. Water isn't so bad, but let's face it, it doesn't do the job first thing in the morning (or at lunch, or at dinner, or while I work, or on a sunny day after yard work, or while I'm doing freelance, or when I'm watching a movie.... you get what I'm saying, right?) 9 more days of no diet coke. I can do it. If Jesus can do all He's done for me, I should be able to do this small thing for Him. 10 more days from now, I will be celebrating the resurrection of my Lord and sippin' on a cold diet coke. Mmmm mmmm mmmmm!
Not posting on Facebook hasn't been quite the challenge I thought it'd be. Just lately have I wanted to upload cool pictures or videos of Ella now that I have an iPhone that makes it so easy, but I will wait. I do read, on occasion, the news feed on facebook just to see what folks are up to and pray for those who need it. I'm thinking I need to make facebook not so much a part of my life after Easter anyway. It's really been nice.
Lent, so far, has really been worth experiencing. I've never given anything up before and after this year, I think I'll participate again next year. God has been so good to us. I've spent more time with my family and my bible which has made me a new person. I thank God that He challenged me this year. Maybe next year I'll give up french fries or chocolate. I'm glad that's a whole year away. *whew*
That's right people... I have been without my favorite beverage for 36 days. I haven't been off diet coke for more than 3 days in a row in over 20 years and I'll tell you it's been hard. Water isn't so bad, but let's face it, it doesn't do the job first thing in the morning (or at lunch, or at dinner, or while I work, or on a sunny day after yard work, or while I'm doing freelance, or when I'm watching a movie.... you get what I'm saying, right?) 9 more days of no diet coke. I can do it. If Jesus can do all He's done for me, I should be able to do this small thing for Him. 10 more days from now, I will be celebrating the resurrection of my Lord and sippin' on a cold diet coke. Mmmm mmmm mmmmm!
Not posting on Facebook hasn't been quite the challenge I thought it'd be. Just lately have I wanted to upload cool pictures or videos of Ella now that I have an iPhone that makes it so easy, but I will wait. I do read, on occasion, the news feed on facebook just to see what folks are up to and pray for those who need it. I'm thinking I need to make facebook not so much a part of my life after Easter anyway. It's really been nice.
Lent, so far, has really been worth experiencing. I've never given anything up before and after this year, I think I'll participate again next year. God has been so good to us. I've spent more time with my family and my bible which has made me a new person. I thank God that He challenged me this year. Maybe next year I'll give up french fries or chocolate. I'm glad that's a whole year away. *whew*
4.12.2011
Miracles
Do not doubt my Lord. He is amazing. God gives us miracles to see, be a part of, hear about and pray for every day and what He can do can bring you to your knees.
This past Sunday, church started out with a baptism (as it does often in such a big church). The first to be baptized was a man that had come to the church just 5 short weeks prior to ask for prayer. His teenage son had been in a horrible motor cross accident and was in really bad shape. He was in ICU and the doctors weren't sure he'd even make it. This man, the dad, came to the church and prayed and read scripture for hours with some of the others at the church. He continued to do this for 5 weeks. His story was moving and we all clapped after he was baptized. It's hard to understand why, but sometimes, when life is good, we don't turn to Christ. It can take a tragedy or pain to pull us in and bring us to God. It's a shame, really, but it's so nice to have Him there for us whenever we need Him. He never turns us away.
The second person to be baptized was the mother of this teenager. She, too, had been brought to her knees during this horrible time and turned to God. It was amazing to watch this family turn to Christ and not to anger and hopelessness. This family had found a blessing in this horrible time. We all clapped when she was baptized.
The dad has stayed behind after his baptism to watch his wife start her new life in front of hundreds of people, but it seemed odd to me because most people "get dunked" and walk off. He stayed even after she was baptized. What was he doing?
The minister at this point stated that the doctors also told the family that if Tyler, their son, made it, he'd been in ICU for AT LEAST 6 months and they weren't sure he'd make it at all. At that point, the dad helped Tyler down into the baptism water. Tyler was discharged from the hospital FIVE WEEKS after his accident after such grim predictions by the doctors and was now ready to give his life to God. WOW!!! There was not a single dry eye in the entire sanctuary. Tyler received a standing ovation as it was so evident God had created a miracle.
So don't doubt my Lord. He can do things we can't even imagine or understand. Turn to Him. He will never turn away from you, even as we sin against Him. Let Him create a story through you to share with the world and be on the look out.... miracles are happening all around us.
This past Sunday, church started out with a baptism (as it does often in such a big church). The first to be baptized was a man that had come to the church just 5 short weeks prior to ask for prayer. His teenage son had been in a horrible motor cross accident and was in really bad shape. He was in ICU and the doctors weren't sure he'd even make it. This man, the dad, came to the church and prayed and read scripture for hours with some of the others at the church. He continued to do this for 5 weeks. His story was moving and we all clapped after he was baptized. It's hard to understand why, but sometimes, when life is good, we don't turn to Christ. It can take a tragedy or pain to pull us in and bring us to God. It's a shame, really, but it's so nice to have Him there for us whenever we need Him. He never turns us away.
The second person to be baptized was the mother of this teenager. She, too, had been brought to her knees during this horrible time and turned to God. It was amazing to watch this family turn to Christ and not to anger and hopelessness. This family had found a blessing in this horrible time. We all clapped when she was baptized.
The dad has stayed behind after his baptism to watch his wife start her new life in front of hundreds of people, but it seemed odd to me because most people "get dunked" and walk off. He stayed even after she was baptized. What was he doing?
The minister at this point stated that the doctors also told the family that if Tyler, their son, made it, he'd been in ICU for AT LEAST 6 months and they weren't sure he'd make it at all. At that point, the dad helped Tyler down into the baptism water. Tyler was discharged from the hospital FIVE WEEKS after his accident after such grim predictions by the doctors and was now ready to give his life to God. WOW!!! There was not a single dry eye in the entire sanctuary. Tyler received a standing ovation as it was so evident God had created a miracle.
So don't doubt my Lord. He can do things we can't even imagine or understand. Turn to Him. He will never turn away from you, even as we sin against Him. Let Him create a story through you to share with the world and be on the look out.... miracles are happening all around us.
4.06.2011
Happy Birthday
1 Year Ago
One short year ago, my friends gave birth to their daughter, Maelee Linn, at 38 weeks gestation.... still born. April 6, 2010. What a horrible time that was. I remember the pain, the sorrow, that deep, deep anguish we felt for Greg and Heather when we heard Maelee didn't make it. Days were filled with sobs and prayers. Over the past year, there have been tears, long and hard prayers and some healing... at least for me. I remember asking God "Why?" over and over again trying to understand why He would take Maelee away. I know it's not for me to understand. I know that God has a purpose for everyone, even Maelee. I know now that Maelee is healthy, happy and thriving with Jesus by her side and that we will all see her one day. This is where the healing, for me, comes from.
I feel like today should be a special day for Maelee, Greg and Heather. Meetings at work should stop. The hustle and bustle of every day business should stop. I have a friend being induced today and I secretly hope her baby doesn't come until tomorrow so that Maelee can have this day. I don't know why, but I do. It just seems like everyone should be sad today. Remembering what last year on this day was like is so hard. I can't even try to imagine what Greg and Heather must be feeling right now. The first and last time they held their little girl was a year ago. This makes my heart hurt.
I've watched Greg and Heather over this past year grieve and carry on through their days because they have to. I have seen them not give up hope and continue to praise Him through the storm. I have watched them put smiles back on their faces and talk about Maelee with pride. They have truly been an inspiration during this and I feel like my faith is even stronger watching them in their journey. Maelee has made Heaven shine brighter for me and I hope Greg and Heather know how proud they should be of Maelee for showing us God is good, even in tragedy.
Today, I will have that day on my mind more than ever. I will worry about Greg and Heather and how they are coping. I'll listen to music that reminds me of them and that time. I will pray. I will also praise Him for His grace and mercy and thank Him for little baby boy Kasowski on the way this month. If you find some time, pray from Greg, Heather and the new baby on the way. This is a hard time.
I feel like today should be a special day for Maelee, Greg and Heather. Meetings at work should stop. The hustle and bustle of every day business should stop. I have a friend being induced today and I secretly hope her baby doesn't come until tomorrow so that Maelee can have this day. I don't know why, but I do. It just seems like everyone should be sad today. Remembering what last year on this day was like is so hard. I can't even try to imagine what Greg and Heather must be feeling right now. The first and last time they held their little girl was a year ago. This makes my heart hurt.
I've watched Greg and Heather over this past year grieve and carry on through their days because they have to. I have seen them not give up hope and continue to praise Him through the storm. I have watched them put smiles back on their faces and talk about Maelee with pride. They have truly been an inspiration during this and I feel like my faith is even stronger watching them in their journey. Maelee has made Heaven shine brighter for me and I hope Greg and Heather know how proud they should be of Maelee for showing us God is good, even in tragedy.
Today, I will have that day on my mind more than ever. I will worry about Greg and Heather and how they are coping. I'll listen to music that reminds me of them and that time. I will pray. I will also praise Him for His grace and mercy and thank Him for little baby boy Kasowski on the way this month. If you find some time, pray from Greg, Heather and the new baby on the way. This is a hard time.
3.28.2011
3.22.2011
Heaven is For Real
This is the book I'm reading now. I have so much I want to say about this, but for now, please watch this interview. Just click the link below.
Heaven is For Real
God is good.
3.17.2011
9 Out of 47
So today is day 9 of 47 days of Lent. As I said before, I gave up diet coke (I've had a 20+ year addiction to it) and posting on facebook (due to the fact I spent too much time posting previously).
The first couple of days I spent more time reminding myself to not reach for the diet coke or not to "like" a friend's post just because it had been habit to do so before. Giving up diet coke wasn't actually that hard. I replaced it with water and it was fine. Drinking diet coke at work was more about the motion of putting a drink to my mouth every 5 minutes, so switching it up to water hasn't made that much difference. It was usually by the time I got home that all I wanted to do was relax on the couch for about 30 minutes once Ella went to bed with a cold, fresh diet coke. This is where I was finding the biggest challenge. The at-home-diet-coke had apparently become a part of my routine and I'm not much for breaking routines these days.
So far I am still diet coke free. It's actually getting a little harder than when I was all "gung-ho" just 9 days ago for this challenge. I've found that I was turning to diet coke during a frustration job at work or when Ella got wild or even when I just needed a moment to deal with what life was handing me. Diet coke was my "dealing with it" mechanism. I had no idea. Needless to say, I'm having to actually cope and learn to figure things out without my go-to drink. It's hard, but not impossible. Well, not when I'm doing it for Christ. Let's be honest, if I was doing this for me, I would have handed myself 1000 different reasons as to why it was ok to have a diet coke and caved many days ago. This is just another example that we can't do anything without Christ. We should walk WITH Him in all we do.
Giving up facebook hasn't been bad at all. I hate that I'm not saying "happy birthday" to friends or telling them "I'm praying for you" when someone posts a struggle or tragedy. That part is hard and I almost convinced myself that telling someone I was praying was worth breaking my commitment, but decided that I could pray without posting. So I have been. It's actually been nice to just observe a few comments here and there, but not involve myself. Life before facebook, email and texting was so much more simple and really it was BETTER. I'm not sure I want to dive right back into facebook once Easter comes along.
So here we are, wrapping up day 9 of 47 and I am, without a doubt, counting down the days until Easter to drink my diet coke again. My family life is stronger than it's ever been and my relationship with Christ is better than I can ever remember. So until Easter, I will be drinking water, staying of the computer as much, reading lots more scripture and praying. It's not a bad life. Maybe it should just stay this way. God is good.
The first couple of days I spent more time reminding myself to not reach for the diet coke or not to "like" a friend's post just because it had been habit to do so before. Giving up diet coke wasn't actually that hard. I replaced it with water and it was fine. Drinking diet coke at work was more about the motion of putting a drink to my mouth every 5 minutes, so switching it up to water hasn't made that much difference. It was usually by the time I got home that all I wanted to do was relax on the couch for about 30 minutes once Ella went to bed with a cold, fresh diet coke. This is where I was finding the biggest challenge. The at-home-diet-coke had apparently become a part of my routine and I'm not much for breaking routines these days.
So far I am still diet coke free. It's actually getting a little harder than when I was all "gung-ho" just 9 days ago for this challenge. I've found that I was turning to diet coke during a frustration job at work or when Ella got wild or even when I just needed a moment to deal with what life was handing me. Diet coke was my "dealing with it" mechanism. I had no idea. Needless to say, I'm having to actually cope and learn to figure things out without my go-to drink. It's hard, but not impossible. Well, not when I'm doing it for Christ. Let's be honest, if I was doing this for me, I would have handed myself 1000 different reasons as to why it was ok to have a diet coke and caved many days ago. This is just another example that we can't do anything without Christ. We should walk WITH Him in all we do.
Giving up facebook hasn't been bad at all. I hate that I'm not saying "happy birthday" to friends or telling them "I'm praying for you" when someone posts a struggle or tragedy. That part is hard and I almost convinced myself that telling someone I was praying was worth breaking my commitment, but decided that I could pray without posting. So I have been. It's actually been nice to just observe a few comments here and there, but not involve myself. Life before facebook, email and texting was so much more simple and really it was BETTER. I'm not sure I want to dive right back into facebook once Easter comes along.
So here we are, wrapping up day 9 of 47 and I am, without a doubt, counting down the days until Easter to drink my diet coke again. My family life is stronger than it's ever been and my relationship with Christ is better than I can ever remember. So until Easter, I will be drinking water, staying of the computer as much, reading lots more scripture and praying. It's not a bad life. Maybe it should just stay this way. God is good.
3.15.2011
Quick Note On Family
I have to say, having a loving, compassionate, passionate, funny, good looking and incredible husband makes me the happiest woman on the planet. Having a little girl that loves her mommy so much, laughs with her entire belly, wants to see and wave at her daddy first thing in the morning no matter how tired she is, says "I wub you" often, hugs tight like a grown man and gives lots of kisses makes me the happiest mommy in the world. Having true friends that love me, respect me and go to bat for me all the time, makes me the happiest friend in the world. Having Christ as my Savior, means I'm saved. Being saved means I know the true meaning of happy. Without Him, I would be a lost soul trying to figure out how to make it through a day. I am a blessed woman. I pray for those in my life to feel as happy and blessed as I am in their own lives. I pray for those who are not true, who are trying to figure out who they are and who's they are, those who are hurtful and who don't know Christ like I do at this very moment. I want them to know the true meaning of happiness, too. I love my family. My family loves me. I do not deserve such fantastic support, encouragement, faithfulness and love, but I'm so grateful to have it. God is good.
3.10.2011
Through Him
Struggles suck. Let's be honest. Just as we figure out how to solve one and start to feel really good about things, another one slaps you square in the face and puts frustration back on you.
There will always be some thing or someone that tests your faith. It's easy to hate that person or thing. It's easy to be mad and angry and walk around like a victim all time. There's very little effort to do these things. It's not Godly.
Praying. Scripture. These two things help make us the faithful christians God wants us to be. We aren't perfect. We are sinful and somehow still expect Christ to swoop in and save the day. We are undeserving of what Christ has done for us and what He continues to do for us.
I've found a new way to listen to Christ these days instead of doing all the talking myself. I feel His love and His comfort when I need it most (and when it's small). It's a challenge sometimes when my emotions tell me to hate someone or to be angry at an event in my life. Those emotions are Satan and it scares me to know how loud he can be. I've learned that forgiveness is hard. It's necessary, but hard and even feels impossible at times.
I've recently been dealing with an extra amount of stress and anxiety. Worrying about other people, how unthoughtful and disrespectful they may be. Worrying about my family and if they are healthy and safe. You name it, I'm worrying about it. I want to hate the things that make me worry. I want to lash out and never forgive any hurt put on me or those I care about, but I know, as a christian woman, I can not. Forgiving is hard. However, I've been praying and actually LISTENING these days and God does indeed hear me. This large, heavy burden sitting on my chest is lifting. Not by me. Not by medication. By God. By only God. I am grateful. Forgiving is still hard, but I'm working on it. Forgetting is even harder. Some people are careless and maybe don't realize how stupid decisions or words effect those around them. Accepting there are times my child just won't eat and will forever be petite is hard. Knowing that worrying is a part of my life and it doesn't show my faith is hard. Knowing Ella sees it and I don't want her to. Accepting that life is not easy, never was promised to be and will always have ups and downs is not easy. With Christ, I will survive it and I will with love in my heart. I will with forgiveness and patience. I'm working on it.
God does work miracles. God does listen. God will help in His time. God is good.
There will always be some thing or someone that tests your faith. It's easy to hate that person or thing. It's easy to be mad and angry and walk around like a victim all time. There's very little effort to do these things. It's not Godly.
Praying. Scripture. These two things help make us the faithful christians God wants us to be. We aren't perfect. We are sinful and somehow still expect Christ to swoop in and save the day. We are undeserving of what Christ has done for us and what He continues to do for us.
I've found a new way to listen to Christ these days instead of doing all the talking myself. I feel His love and His comfort when I need it most (and when it's small). It's a challenge sometimes when my emotions tell me to hate someone or to be angry at an event in my life. Those emotions are Satan and it scares me to know how loud he can be. I've learned that forgiveness is hard. It's necessary, but hard and even feels impossible at times.
I've recently been dealing with an extra amount of stress and anxiety. Worrying about other people, how unthoughtful and disrespectful they may be. Worrying about my family and if they are healthy and safe. You name it, I'm worrying about it. I want to hate the things that make me worry. I want to lash out and never forgive any hurt put on me or those I care about, but I know, as a christian woman, I can not. Forgiving is hard. However, I've been praying and actually LISTENING these days and God does indeed hear me. This large, heavy burden sitting on my chest is lifting. Not by me. Not by medication. By God. By only God. I am grateful. Forgiving is still hard, but I'm working on it. Forgetting is even harder. Some people are careless and maybe don't realize how stupid decisions or words effect those around them. Accepting there are times my child just won't eat and will forever be petite is hard. Knowing that worrying is a part of my life and it doesn't show my faith is hard. Knowing Ella sees it and I don't want her to. Accepting that life is not easy, never was promised to be and will always have ups and downs is not easy. With Christ, I will survive it and I will with love in my heart. I will with forgiveness and patience. I'm working on it.
God does work miracles. God does listen. God will help in His time. God is good.
3.08.2011
47 days
Lent. I've never celebrated it before. Truth is, Baptists have never really made a big deal about it. This year I've been reaching out to Christ like never before. I want to know Him better than I do. I want to live for Him better than I have. I want people to see Christ through me. That being said, it occurred to me that all my blessings and all my strife are in the glory of God. I wouldn't be so blessed without Christ and let's face it, there is NO way I'd survive some of these struggles without Him either. Medication isn't THAT good. So, I'm participating in Lent this year. I will give something up. I will spend more time each day reading His word, praying and praising His name and I will do my best to help my neighbor.
Sacrifice #1
I don't like calling these things sacrifices because what Christ did for us was a sacrifice. What I'm doing is lame in comparison. First things first, I'm giving up diet coke for Lent. 47 days without the one thing I'm totally addicted to. No, I do not drink the caffeine diet cokes so I shouldn't go into convulsions over the lack of stimulus. The addiction is mental. It's been "my thang" for as long as I can remember and for over a month, I will look past the stock of cold, crisp diet cokes in my fridge or the fridge at home. This is big for me. Huge even. The last time I tried this, I lasted a solid 3 days. I've discovered doing things for myself doesn't work. I will do this for God. I will.
Sacrifice #2
Posting of facebook takes waaaay too much of my time. I "like" things that make me giggle, I post videos that I love to watch and I update my status almost on a daily basis for no other reason that to feel connected to the outside world. For 47 days, I'm saying goodbye to writing on facebook and spending more time with my family and Christ. Technology is a distraction from living. It can be evil and I don't like the fact that Ella knows the word "email" so I bid it adieu.
May we all reflect on this time to think about what Jesus did for us. What He's doing for us and what we need to do THROUGH Him. I do have to say, I look forward to that cold, crisp diet coke after Easter.
Sacrifice #1
I don't like calling these things sacrifices because what Christ did for us was a sacrifice. What I'm doing is lame in comparison. First things first, I'm giving up diet coke for Lent. 47 days without the one thing I'm totally addicted to. No, I do not drink the caffeine diet cokes so I shouldn't go into convulsions over the lack of stimulus. The addiction is mental. It's been "my thang" for as long as I can remember and for over a month, I will look past the stock of cold, crisp diet cokes in my fridge or the fridge at home. This is big for me. Huge even. The last time I tried this, I lasted a solid 3 days. I've discovered doing things for myself doesn't work. I will do this for God. I will.
Sacrifice #2
Posting of facebook takes waaaay too much of my time. I "like" things that make me giggle, I post videos that I love to watch and I update my status almost on a daily basis for no other reason that to feel connected to the outside world. For 47 days, I'm saying goodbye to writing on facebook and spending more time with my family and Christ. Technology is a distraction from living. It can be evil and I don't like the fact that Ella knows the word "email" so I bid it adieu.
May we all reflect on this time to think about what Jesus did for us. What He's doing for us and what we need to do THROUGH Him. I do have to say, I look forward to that cold, crisp diet coke after Easter.
3.02.2011
Satan
I'm convinced there are people brought into our lives to test our faith. Satan knows when you have struggles and knows when you are leaning on Christ to see you through them through Him. Satan knows it and that's when he wants to step in and mess it all up. I think there are people that breeze into your life to shake you up, to help Satan with his big plan (even if they don't know it).
I know we are told of this when we read the scripture and when we hear the sermons, but when these people come into your life, it hits you hard. You'd think being fully aware this could happen, we'd have our dukes up ready to fight at the first sign of their face. These people can be sneaky. They can be your friend. They can be a relative or coworker. They can be a fellow Christian. They can have your trust and without you realizing it, they can send you down a path you never intended on taking. These people are leading you away from Christ and sometimes you don't even realize it until you have a second to look back and not recognize the path you're on. Satan. It happens to so many people.
In the midst of a struggle, you pray. You listen and trust in Him. You start to see the light. You start to hear God's word and feel like your pain is lifting and His love is brighter than you ever remember it. This person can swoop in and say or do one thing to set you backwards and put you back in dimmer light in seconds. Maybe this is why our world is in the condition it's in now. It's easier to be angry, mad and bitter than it is to fight.
God has given me hope, love and courage. I'm not perfect and can't always tell when one of these people comes into my life until I'm back in dimmer light, but there's always a way to fight. We are never alone in this fight. We can't fight alone. Call on Jesus. Pray with all your might. Put your dukes up. Remove this person from your life (if you can) and see the bright light again. It's a lot easier to trust in Him than it is to worry about worldly ways and people who are not Christ-like. There are too many people that want to bring you down, hurt you and your family. Surround yourself with people who praise Him, respect His word, respect you, respect your family and want to encourage you. We are an army. Satan will never give up. He will never wave a white flag. We will continue to fight until we meet our Lord.
If you see someone struggling or being effected by one of "these" people, pray for them, pray with them, lend them encouragement and love. Times can be hard, but through Christ, it can be beautiful.
I know we are told of this when we read the scripture and when we hear the sermons, but when these people come into your life, it hits you hard. You'd think being fully aware this could happen, we'd have our dukes up ready to fight at the first sign of their face. These people can be sneaky. They can be your friend. They can be a relative or coworker. They can be a fellow Christian. They can have your trust and without you realizing it, they can send you down a path you never intended on taking. These people are leading you away from Christ and sometimes you don't even realize it until you have a second to look back and not recognize the path you're on. Satan. It happens to so many people.
In the midst of a struggle, you pray. You listen and trust in Him. You start to see the light. You start to hear God's word and feel like your pain is lifting and His love is brighter than you ever remember it. This person can swoop in and say or do one thing to set you backwards and put you back in dimmer light in seconds. Maybe this is why our world is in the condition it's in now. It's easier to be angry, mad and bitter than it is to fight.
God has given me hope, love and courage. I'm not perfect and can't always tell when one of these people comes into my life until I'm back in dimmer light, but there's always a way to fight. We are never alone in this fight. We can't fight alone. Call on Jesus. Pray with all your might. Put your dukes up. Remove this person from your life (if you can) and see the bright light again. It's a lot easier to trust in Him than it is to worry about worldly ways and people who are not Christ-like. There are too many people that want to bring you down, hurt you and your family. Surround yourself with people who praise Him, respect His word, respect you, respect your family and want to encourage you. We are an army. Satan will never give up. He will never wave a white flag. We will continue to fight until we meet our Lord.
If you see someone struggling or being effected by one of "these" people, pray for them, pray with them, lend them encouragement and love. Times can be hard, but through Christ, it can be beautiful.
2.27.2011
Hobbies
It has been brought to my attention that maybe I'd let go of some of my resentment to volleyball if I had little something I enjoy doing to do on days Adam can watch Ella. A hobby if you will. Yes! Sounds great! I like where this is going. Something that I can do that is just for my enjoyment. No silly songs about speckled frogs on logs, no 8 piece puzzles, no vacuuming, no laundry, no scooping poop. Something I actually enjoy for ME. I grabbed a piece of paper and pencil to start figuring out what I could do. Here's what I had:
THINGS I LIKE
1. Funny stuff
2. Laughing
3. Diet Coke
4. Funky nail polish colors
5. Different color streaks in my hair
6. Being tan
7. Really good music of all genres
8. Being skinny
9. chocolate
10. naps
HOBBIES FROM LIKES
1. Watch funny movies (wait, is that a hobby?)
2. see above
3. Make my own diet coke (right. Lemme get started on that. Anyone know where to get the best natural flavors, citric acid and potassium benzoate? Yea. Didn't think so.)
4. Ummmmmm?
5. see above
6. Lay out? (still not seeing that as a hobby)
7. Rock out (this isn't going well)
8. Run all the time (wait...er...a hobby is something you LIKE to do, right?!)
9. This one doesn't go with #8
10. sigh
So, out of the 10 things I really like, I've go no hobby to make from them. I looked up hobbies online in hopes of an "Oh yea! I forgot about that! That's totally my hobby now!" moment, but what I got was:
Collecting stamps or other random crap no one uses anymore (one of the "collecting" categories including collecting business cards. BUSINESS CARDS! Really?! Just go around and ask people for their poorly designed/poorly printed business card just so I can clutter up a drawer in my house? This site is clearly a moron.) Another was bird watching. Ok, so I get some people actually care about those birds flying around and dropping poo on my porch from time to time, but let's focus for a minute. I'm just supposed to take binoculars outside and stare up in the sky waiting for something to flutter by and then get excited about it? Next. Glass blowing. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Next. Crochet. How old do they think I am? No one needs 100 scarves that bad. We live in South Carolina! Next. Skydiving. No. Next. Photography. I've taken almost 11,000 pictures of my child with my Kodak Easy Share. I've mastered that one. Next. Map making. MAP making? Map what?! Here's my yard. If you take a left at the tree we cut down a couple of years ago.... you'll still be in my yard. Seriously? Next. Storytelling. There once was a girl looking for a hobby and all she got was crap. The End. Next.
Needless to say, I have no hobby. I'm going to get a diet coke.
THINGS I LIKE
1. Funny stuff
2. Laughing
3. Diet Coke
4. Funky nail polish colors
5. Different color streaks in my hair
6. Being tan
7. Really good music of all genres
8. Being skinny
9. chocolate
10. naps
HOBBIES FROM LIKES
1. Watch funny movies (wait, is that a hobby?)
2. see above
3. Make my own diet coke (right. Lemme get started on that. Anyone know where to get the best natural flavors, citric acid and potassium benzoate? Yea. Didn't think so.)
4. Ummmmmm?
5. see above
6. Lay out? (still not seeing that as a hobby)
7. Rock out (this isn't going well)
8. Run all the time (wait...er...a hobby is something you LIKE to do, right?!)
9. This one doesn't go with #8
10. sigh
So, out of the 10 things I really like, I've go no hobby to make from them. I looked up hobbies online in hopes of an "Oh yea! I forgot about that! That's totally my hobby now!" moment, but what I got was:
Collecting stamps or other random crap no one uses anymore (one of the "collecting" categories including collecting business cards. BUSINESS CARDS! Really?! Just go around and ask people for their poorly designed/poorly printed business card just so I can clutter up a drawer in my house? This site is clearly a moron.) Another was bird watching. Ok, so I get some people actually care about those birds flying around and dropping poo on my porch from time to time, but let's focus for a minute. I'm just supposed to take binoculars outside and stare up in the sky waiting for something to flutter by and then get excited about it? Next. Glass blowing. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Next. Crochet. How old do they think I am? No one needs 100 scarves that bad. We live in South Carolina! Next. Skydiving. No. Next. Photography. I've taken almost 11,000 pictures of my child with my Kodak Easy Share. I've mastered that one. Next. Map making. MAP making? Map what?! Here's my yard. If you take a left at the tree we cut down a couple of years ago.... you'll still be in my yard. Seriously? Next. Storytelling. There once was a girl looking for a hobby and all she got was crap. The End. Next.
Needless to say, I have no hobby. I'm going to get a diet coke.
2.26.2011
What I know about myself today
DISAPPOINTMENT
I don't deal with it well. My knee-jerk reaction is to just throw my hands up and give in, throw a rockin' pity party and stew in my defeat. The party's length depends on how big the disappointment is. Once the party is over, I'm ashamed and embarrassed and promise myself and those around me to not let it happen again. I pray about it, ask Him to help and at some point make a dumb decision to not listen to Him and start the process over again. I'm working on it and promise to never let it happen again. Ok, so I'm praying about it. Pray I listen this time!
LONELY
I am an only child. I have never liked being an only child. I still to this day wish I had a sibling. Even during all of my childhood years when I had to entertain myself, I, as an adult, hate being alone. Maybe it's has something to do with the fact that there were times growing up I HAD to be alone. Maybe not. I have no idea why, but when Adam's gone for the weekend or even just the evening to volleyball practice, I get sad and disappointed (see above). I know as a Christian, I'm never truly alone, but like "Disappointment," I am not a good listener when I need to be the most. In my mind, being alone is horrible.
BEING THE COOL MOM
This is what I promised to my growing belly when I was pregnant. I was going to be the cool mom. The coolest, actually. But something funny happens when the child comes out and it's time to raise them... you are not the coolest parent. Discipline, lessons, censorship and mostly just parenthood steps in the way and you become the parent you thought you'd never be. This is meant to be. This is the way it is supposed to work. Let's face it, the coolest parents are never the best parents. It's great to be cool once in a while, but not all the time. If you haven't learned that yet, learn it.
I'M OLD
While slapping down some bright neon 80's fingernail polish and streaking my hair with temporary hot pink, it occurred to me that I may just be too old for this. That doesn't mean I'm not going to do it, but the thought of someone else looking at me in disgust due to my age... well that just makes me sad. I never wanted to grow up and here I am. Old. Wow. Where the heck does the time go?! I want to rebel against getting old. There are times when being responsible is lame.
THE LORD
I love Him so much and I'm am so undeserving of His love. I'm not a great Christian because as you know already, I'm not a great listener. Therefore, I'm not a great doer. Although I know I will never be the perfect Christian, I am working on being a BETTER Christian. I want others to see Him through me. The scariest part of that is I'm not sure others see that in me now.
ELLA
She kinda looks like me. There are times when I see her facial expression and think Whoa! She really is my child. I don't want her to see me and not see Christ.
WORRY
It runs my life a good portion of the time. Because of this, there are times that my anxieties make me a not fun person to those around me. I know what's happening and can't stop it. I worry and become frustrated at rate of speed so that no one can see it coming. I've decided to wave the white flag. I'm giving in on trying to deal with it on my own and am seeking help from the doctor on Monday. I've been on medication before and REGRET ever taking the medication because of what it did to my body. I don't know that I've ever fully recovered from it. I'm not happy about getting on medication again, but I fear I have no choice. This is a sad time for me because I feel defeated. I like to win. I've been praying about it for a long time and I'm thinking this is the choice that is best for me now. If this is my head telling me this and not the guidance of the Lord, I will find out very soon.
SLEEP
I like it a lot and haven't had quite the love affair with it that I used to in over 2 years. I miss it.
DIET COKE
For some reason, no matter what is going on, I always feel like a good cold diet coke makes any situation (good or bad) even better. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn't. I think about diet coke a lot in a single day. That is not good. At all.
ME
I'm going to be a better person, a better wife, a better mother and most importantly a better Christian immediately. I can't be any of those with out being a better Christian. I need Christ in my life for when I'm disappointed, lonely, being a strict, slack or semi-cool mother, feeling old, adoring or being frustrated with Ella, worrying, sleep deprived and day dreaming about a soda. All these things in my life can change in a great way with more effort on my part. So, if you see me being a jerky human, call me on it. I want to change. PRAY FOR ME. I will return the favor. I want to be better and I can't do it on my own.
I don't deal with it well. My knee-jerk reaction is to just throw my hands up and give in, throw a rockin' pity party and stew in my defeat. The party's length depends on how big the disappointment is. Once the party is over, I'm ashamed and embarrassed and promise myself and those around me to not let it happen again. I pray about it, ask Him to help and at some point make a dumb decision to not listen to Him and start the process over again. I'm working on it and promise to never let it happen again. Ok, so I'm praying about it. Pray I listen this time!
LONELY
I am an only child. I have never liked being an only child. I still to this day wish I had a sibling. Even during all of my childhood years when I had to entertain myself, I, as an adult, hate being alone. Maybe it's has something to do with the fact that there were times growing up I HAD to be alone. Maybe not. I have no idea why, but when Adam's gone for the weekend or even just the evening to volleyball practice, I get sad and disappointed (see above). I know as a Christian, I'm never truly alone, but like "Disappointment," I am not a good listener when I need to be the most. In my mind, being alone is horrible.
BEING THE COOL MOM
This is what I promised to my growing belly when I was pregnant. I was going to be the cool mom. The coolest, actually. But something funny happens when the child comes out and it's time to raise them... you are not the coolest parent. Discipline, lessons, censorship and mostly just parenthood steps in the way and you become the parent you thought you'd never be. This is meant to be. This is the way it is supposed to work. Let's face it, the coolest parents are never the best parents. It's great to be cool once in a while, but not all the time. If you haven't learned that yet, learn it.
I'M OLD
While slapping down some bright neon 80's fingernail polish and streaking my hair with temporary hot pink, it occurred to me that I may just be too old for this. That doesn't mean I'm not going to do it, but the thought of someone else looking at me in disgust due to my age... well that just makes me sad. I never wanted to grow up and here I am. Old. Wow. Where the heck does the time go?! I want to rebel against getting old. There are times when being responsible is lame.
THE LORD
I love Him so much and I'm am so undeserving of His love. I'm not a great Christian because as you know already, I'm not a great listener. Therefore, I'm not a great doer. Although I know I will never be the perfect Christian, I am working on being a BETTER Christian. I want others to see Him through me. The scariest part of that is I'm not sure others see that in me now.
ELLA
She kinda looks like me. There are times when I see her facial expression and think Whoa! She really is my child. I don't want her to see me and not see Christ.
WORRY
It runs my life a good portion of the time. Because of this, there are times that my anxieties make me a not fun person to those around me. I know what's happening and can't stop it. I worry and become frustrated at rate of speed so that no one can see it coming. I've decided to wave the white flag. I'm giving in on trying to deal with it on my own and am seeking help from the doctor on Monday. I've been on medication before and REGRET ever taking the medication because of what it did to my body. I don't know that I've ever fully recovered from it. I'm not happy about getting on medication again, but I fear I have no choice. This is a sad time for me because I feel defeated. I like to win. I've been praying about it for a long time and I'm thinking this is the choice that is best for me now. If this is my head telling me this and not the guidance of the Lord, I will find out very soon.
SLEEP
I like it a lot and haven't had quite the love affair with it that I used to in over 2 years. I miss it.
DIET COKE
For some reason, no matter what is going on, I always feel like a good cold diet coke makes any situation (good or bad) even better. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn't. I think about diet coke a lot in a single day. That is not good. At all.
ME
I'm going to be a better person, a better wife, a better mother and most importantly a better Christian immediately. I can't be any of those with out being a better Christian. I need Christ in my life for when I'm disappointed, lonely, being a strict, slack or semi-cool mother, feeling old, adoring or being frustrated with Ella, worrying, sleep deprived and day dreaming about a soda. All these things in my life can change in a great way with more effort on my part. So, if you see me being a jerky human, call me on it. I want to change. PRAY FOR ME. I will return the favor. I want to be better and I can't do it on my own.
2.22.2011
No clue
I have no clue what I'm doing. Not one single, tiny little clue. Every day I fly by the seat of my pants. Being a parent, for me, is a giant rollercoaster ride. The weird part is the trip UP the hill tends to be more fun than the 90mph trip down — when you are living with a toddler. Ella has discovered her expressions and boy is it fun.
When Ella was an infant, she opened her mouth to no matter what I put on that spoon and ate it like a champion. Peas? Yes! Carrots? E'ry day. Mystery meat and veggie combo? Absolutley! There wasn't much she wouldn't eat when it was mushy and came out of a jar. Now that she eats with us, she says "NO!" when she's not hungry or is tired of the greenbean/spaghetti o's combo I've slapped on her plate. She now has decided that there are nights she's just flat out not hungry. WHA?! What child of mine wouldn't be hungry 24-7?
When Ella was an infant, she could lie on that play mat and stare up at those monkeys and mirrors for what seemed like hours just checking it out. Now, 2 seconds into a puzzle and she's conquered it and is over it. NEXT! Every book we've read 200 times and she is tired of the same ol' Moose and the muffin story. Coloring was a new adventure not that long ago and now, it's just "aight". The Monkey and Alligator song was my saving grace when she'd get upset. Two notes into it and she was dancing and singing along. Now, she'll leave the room mid song.
Ella, now that she has words to use, has become demanding. "Eat Mommy!" "Sit Mommy." "Read it Mommy!" "No Mommy!" "Back Mommy!" (that one if for me to scratch her back) At this age, if you try to ignore her, she will repeat until you react. 100 times I'll hear the same thing. Did she forget that not only a mila-second ago she asked me to read that same book? And it wasn't 3 minutes ago we DID read that very same book... twice. We even pointed out all the puppies, flowers, butterflies, trees, clouds and little girls in the story when she got restless. And still she demands, "Read it Mommy!"
Don't get me wrong. This age is great. The crying, pooping, eating lump that graced us just 21 months ago is gone and she can now interact with us. She can cheer us on, dance with us to club music, she can tell me she had a good time at school and ate a sandwich, she says "I wub youuuu," she gives the best tight-squeezed hugs ever and loves to give kisses. These are good times. These times are the trip up the hill. This is when I look at her, tear up at how fast she's growing and try my best to hang on to every second we're together. It's that fast ride down that starts with "No Mommy!" and usually ends up with mac and cheese noodles on the other side of the room that makes me think Ella will be an only child. Help me Rhonda on that trip down. Whew!
I don't know what to think about motherhood. It's very cool. It can be very rewarding. It's hilarious. It keeps me on my toes. It's scary. IT'S HARD. It's stressful and frustrating. It's exhausting. It's like nothing I've ever done before. I wouldn't change it... well, I would change her EATING HABITS! I still don't get that.
Thank you Lord for all my many blessings. It's hard to get so wrapped up in the bad and frustrating parts to remember to be grateful for the 1000 times more awesome parts there are. I'm not the best Mommy in the world, but I'm Ella's. She'd tell you I'm the best Mommy she's ever had. I'm good with that.
When Ella was an infant, she opened her mouth to no matter what I put on that spoon and ate it like a champion. Peas? Yes! Carrots? E'ry day. Mystery meat and veggie combo? Absolutley! There wasn't much she wouldn't eat when it was mushy and came out of a jar. Now that she eats with us, she says "NO!" when she's not hungry or is tired of the greenbean/spaghetti o's combo I've slapped on her plate. She now has decided that there are nights she's just flat out not hungry. WHA?! What child of mine wouldn't be hungry 24-7?
When Ella was an infant, she could lie on that play mat and stare up at those monkeys and mirrors for what seemed like hours just checking it out. Now, 2 seconds into a puzzle and she's conquered it and is over it. NEXT! Every book we've read 200 times and she is tired of the same ol' Moose and the muffin story. Coloring was a new adventure not that long ago and now, it's just "aight". The Monkey and Alligator song was my saving grace when she'd get upset. Two notes into it and she was dancing and singing along. Now, she'll leave the room mid song.
Ella, now that she has words to use, has become demanding. "Eat Mommy!" "Sit Mommy." "Read it Mommy!" "No Mommy!" "Back Mommy!" (that one if for me to scratch her back) At this age, if you try to ignore her, she will repeat until you react. 100 times I'll hear the same thing. Did she forget that not only a mila-second ago she asked me to read that same book? And it wasn't 3 minutes ago we DID read that very same book... twice. We even pointed out all the puppies, flowers, butterflies, trees, clouds and little girls in the story when she got restless. And still she demands, "Read it Mommy!"
Don't get me wrong. This age is great. The crying, pooping, eating lump that graced us just 21 months ago is gone and she can now interact with us. She can cheer us on, dance with us to club music, she can tell me she had a good time at school and ate a sandwich, she says "I wub youuuu," she gives the best tight-squeezed hugs ever and loves to give kisses. These are good times. These times are the trip up the hill. This is when I look at her, tear up at how fast she's growing and try my best to hang on to every second we're together. It's that fast ride down that starts with "No Mommy!" and usually ends up with mac and cheese noodles on the other side of the room that makes me think Ella will be an only child. Help me Rhonda on that trip down. Whew!
I don't know what to think about motherhood. It's very cool. It can be very rewarding. It's hilarious. It keeps me on my toes. It's scary. IT'S HARD. It's stressful and frustrating. It's exhausting. It's like nothing I've ever done before. I wouldn't change it... well, I would change her EATING HABITS! I still don't get that.
Thank you Lord for all my many blessings. It's hard to get so wrapped up in the bad and frustrating parts to remember to be grateful for the 1000 times more awesome parts there are. I'm not the best Mommy in the world, but I'm Ella's. She'd tell you I'm the best Mommy she's ever had. I'm good with that.
1.11.2011
Church
I love going to church. I love going to church when I leave feeling refreshed, humbled, uplifted and excited for I can do through Christ. I've been to churches that made me feel so guilty that I can't even hold my head up or feel confident I'm going to heaven when the Lord sees fit. I don't like church like that, but to each their own. I love to worship and praise and learn and rejoice and be humbled by His grace and love. So Adam and I are getting ready to join a church in Columbia after years of going to worship in Camden. We've been searching in Columbia for a long time and never found what we had in Camden. I don't fully believe we have, but we are tired of not belonging somewhere.
So anyway, what I don't feel good about is letting my everyday, sinful life clog up my mind while I'm in church. My mind starts furiously going over my to do lists right in the middle of a great message and it messes things up. I've been taking notes and listening and learning when I notice a smudge on my dress and I end up spending the next 5 minutes trying to figure out what it is and why it's not coming off with the ol' spit and rub trick. Why can't I FOCUS sometimes?! The devil? Is that mean ol' snake making my mind wonder so that I can be fulfilled by His word? EERRRRRRR he makes me so mad sometimes. This very thing happened to me in church this past Sunday. Adam was in class so it was just Ella and me. Ella was wisked off to the nursery so I sat alone ready to learn. As the pastor really started to get into the meat of his sermon, I spotted the little buzzer thing next to me buried under my pocketbook. My mind started in on "What if it had gone off under there and I would have never known?" and "What kind of thing would have to happen before they would buzz me?" My mind went on some stupid path of worry from there and before I knew, the pastor was concluding. What?! What did he say? My notes didn't make sense. Instead of feeling great about the service, I was left with confusion and frustration with myself. Why did I do that?!
I love church. I love going to church when I leave feeling refreshed, humbled, uplifted and excited for I can do through Christ. So, I'm planning on focusing at church and leaving the devil out in the cold... along with my to do lists and what ifs. Pray for me. My mind is stubborn.
So anyway, what I don't feel good about is letting my everyday, sinful life clog up my mind while I'm in church. My mind starts furiously going over my to do lists right in the middle of a great message and it messes things up. I've been taking notes and listening and learning when I notice a smudge on my dress and I end up spending the next 5 minutes trying to figure out what it is and why it's not coming off with the ol' spit and rub trick. Why can't I FOCUS sometimes?! The devil? Is that mean ol' snake making my mind wonder so that I can be fulfilled by His word? EERRRRRRR he makes me so mad sometimes. This very thing happened to me in church this past Sunday. Adam was in class so it was just Ella and me. Ella was wisked off to the nursery so I sat alone ready to learn. As the pastor really started to get into the meat of his sermon, I spotted the little buzzer thing next to me buried under my pocketbook. My mind started in on "What if it had gone off under there and I would have never known?" and "What kind of thing would have to happen before they would buzz me?" My mind went on some stupid path of worry from there and before I knew, the pastor was concluding. What?! What did he say? My notes didn't make sense. Instead of feeling great about the service, I was left with confusion and frustration with myself. Why did I do that?!
I love church. I love going to church when I leave feeling refreshed, humbled, uplifted and excited for I can do through Christ. So, I'm planning on focusing at church and leaving the devil out in the cold... along with my to do lists and what ifs. Pray for me. My mind is stubborn.
1.05.2011
Humor
It's official that Adam and I have passed our sense of humor down to our little girl. I'm so proud! We did pray very hard when she was still "cooking" that she would have a sense of humor. One of the first things the drew me to Adam (other than how good looking he was) was his sense of humor. He made me laugh and I was sold. Previous to Adam, I had been in what I'd call a really bad relationship full of anger, fighting and sadness. Adam made things bright and happy again. I was actually laughing again and I never wanted that to end.
So here we are, over 11 years later, and we have this beautiful little toddler that laughs at everything. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! When my day has been stressful and all I want to do is make the day end, Ella will laugh at a carrot flying off her tray or a cat meowing or something and belly laugh which makes me laugh so hard that I have a stitch in my side. I can not tell you how proud I am of Ella. She is smart, polite (mostly), energetic, creative and loves to laugh. Today, we are home from school and work because Ella has walking pneumonia. I've been a mess trying to figure out what I can do to make her feel better. It's scary for me because all I want to do is make sure she's breathing. We had a rough night with Ella coughing, crying and fighting fever and today she's smiling. While I was changing her diaper this afternoon, she started to wheeze. I stopped what I was doing to listen to it because I was worried. Ella heard it and started to laugh. She'd get quiet, wheeze again and start cracking up! I got tickled, too. My worrying didn't go away completely, but it made it so much better listening to her cast her wheezing off as comedic. I should look at things in life more like she does.
So yes, being a parent is stressful. It's hard and it's a challenge. Being a parent is also a blessing that teaches us lessons. If it weren't for Ella, I'd have a lot less laughter in my life. God is good. He knows what He's doing up there and I'm certainly not deserving of it.... but I'll take it.
So here we are, over 11 years later, and we have this beautiful little toddler that laughs at everything. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! When my day has been stressful and all I want to do is make the day end, Ella will laugh at a carrot flying off her tray or a cat meowing or something and belly laugh which makes me laugh so hard that I have a stitch in my side. I can not tell you how proud I am of Ella. She is smart, polite (mostly), energetic, creative and loves to laugh. Today, we are home from school and work because Ella has walking pneumonia. I've been a mess trying to figure out what I can do to make her feel better. It's scary for me because all I want to do is make sure she's breathing. We had a rough night with Ella coughing, crying and fighting fever and today she's smiling. While I was changing her diaper this afternoon, she started to wheeze. I stopped what I was doing to listen to it because I was worried. Ella heard it and started to laugh. She'd get quiet, wheeze again and start cracking up! I got tickled, too. My worrying didn't go away completely, but it made it so much better listening to her cast her wheezing off as comedic. I should look at things in life more like she does.
So yes, being a parent is stressful. It's hard and it's a challenge. Being a parent is also a blessing that teaches us lessons. If it weren't for Ella, I'd have a lot less laughter in my life. God is good. He knows what He's doing up there and I'm certainly not deserving of it.... but I'll take it.
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