Happy vs Sad

MUSIC

I have a hard time doing just about anything without some sort of music playing. I have a 100 playlists on the ol' iPod depending on what I'm doing or how I'm feeling. This time a year I have a Spring/Summertime playlist that makes me want to roll down the windows, blast the music and enjoy the sunshine. It makes me relaxed. It makes me smile. It makes me happy. Music can make me happy.

Lately the playlist has been stuck on a rotation of songs that are slow. Some speak of loss and healing. Some speak of leaning on Christ in hard times. These songs are songs of hope after disappointment. These are the songs that I want to send to Greg and Heather. These are the lyrics that seem to speak specifically about what they are going through. These are the songs that make me cry on the way to work. These are the songs that make me want to march directly into Greg's cube and tell him I think it absolutely sucks what they are going through. These are the songs that make me sad.

SUNSHINE

The sun is out. The temperature is great for being outside. The grass is green and the birds are out. Things are new again. Spring represents life and rebirth. People come out of their homes to enjoy the outdoors. We enjoy what God has so graciously given us. The world is beautiful. I look forward to this time of year the minute it Fall hits. Sunshine makes me happy.

I also think about Heather. I think about her walking down her street trying to get out of the house for a little while. I think about her seeing other couples out with their babies in strollers. I think about how hard it must be to see things so beautiful and how she's reminded that she doesn't get the opportunity to take Maelee out in the sun. Maelee doesn't get to feel the warm breeze on her chubby little cheeks. Heather is reminded all the time that Maelee is not here. This makes me sad.

MAY 29

I'm going to start with what makes me sad. Heather and Greg are burying their little girl on this day. This is the day that they will have to see the grave stone with Maelee's name on it. Family and friends will gather to mourn Maelee's death. This will be the day they have in Maelee's honor. There will be hugging and crying and praying. There will be words of encouragement and support. That will one of the hardest days Greg and Heather have to experience. They have to be sad. This makes a lot of us very sad.

This also happens to be the day that family and friends gather at our house to celebrate life. Ella will turn one the day before and May 29 will be the day we have a party in her honor. There will be hugging and laughter. There will be words of joy, memories and praise. This will be one of the happiest days Adam and I experience.

Death and life will be celebrated on the same day. Family and friends will gather to honor 2 little girls. I don't know how to feel about this day. I will be excited for Ella. I will be the proudest mom there ever was. I will have fun and honor Ella. I know Heather will be the proudest mom and honor Maelee. On this day, we will be happy and sad. On this day, Greg and Heather will be sad.