When you excited about something, the first person you want to call is your best friend. For instance, if you finally got asked out by THE guy, your best friend will jump up and down with you. She will ask questions about how it happened. She will help you pick out the perfect outfit (or shop for one). She will even let you borrow her favorite sweater... you know, the one she says goes perfect with your eyes. A good girlfriend will wish you luck, send you out with tips and emergency numbers and sit by the phone waiting for you to call with all the details of the night. A good girlfriend feels happy when you are happy.
When you are sad, a good girlfriend is sad, too. If that very guy that made your heart flutter broke your heart, a good girlfriend will hug you and cry with you. She'll tell you that you deserve better and be mad at that stupid guy who obviously doesn't know what he's missing. His loss. A good girlfriend won't share that the guy she really likes just called her right before you did because that would hurt your feelings. She knows that while you are hurting, it's not about her. She also knows that sometimes she'll just want to talk and for you to listen. A good girlfriend will learn the "mean boy's" route and makes sure you never have to cross his path. She knows if you did, it would bring all the hurt back. A good girlfriend makes you a "mixed tape" full of sad songs so you can sit and cry while you both listen. When you are sad, a good girlfriend is sad, too.
So the reason I'm saying this is because Greg and Heather are sad. I'm sad, too. I'm obviously not hurting like they are, but I'm sad. I think about their suffering all the time and pray that they will heal and find happiness some how. I don't want to brag about my experiences as a parent because I know it's not about me right now. I want to shield them from seeing any kids or listening to songs that mention the word "baby." I want to make them a "mixed tape" full of songs about hurting and healing. I want to hug them and tell them it's going to be ok and they deserve better.
I don't think this means I'm a good girlfriend, just someone who cares about them and wants good things for them. There are LOTS of people just like me that want to protect Greg and Heather until they have healed. I am sad with them. In a way, I'm too nervous to not be. I don't want them to feel alone in their suffering. I want them to feel like the world has stood still in other people's lives, too. The problem with this is my world can't stand still. I am a mother and a wife. I need to be there for them and be happy with them and tell them I love them and spend time with them. I need to be a good girlfriend for them. I want Greg and Heather to know I'm sad with them. I want Adam and Ella to know that they are my world and they make me so happy.
I'm torn.
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